totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
