Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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