ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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