A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize