you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
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but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
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I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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