my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The feeling are messing with the penis
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
