she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we made out on top of his cat.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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