I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
even my farts smell like vagina
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
