I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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