he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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