Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
