we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
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