STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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