My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
