You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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