dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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