I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
