still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
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I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
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i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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