is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
