then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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