with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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