Taylor Swift is so right about you.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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