Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize