I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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