I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
