haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
