he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
