garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
