ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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