Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Im part way to drunk.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
