My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
