My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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