Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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