Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i just google imaged poop.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize