I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
no you cant smoke seaweed
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
