i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
