Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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