New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
