Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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