he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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