i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
