This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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