Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
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I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
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Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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