It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
