My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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