I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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