i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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