is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
