was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
