I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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