We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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