I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
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I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
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you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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